The Truth Shall Set You Free...
By Cynthia Bailey-Rug
John 8:32 "Then
you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Recently, my husband
and I had a disagreement. I felt he
should have offered me emotional support when he didn't, and I yelled at him for
not being there for me. Not exactly
my proudest moment as a wife. Anyway,
later in the evening after my yelling, God began to get my attention.
He reminded me of how badly I acted earlier in the day towards my
husband. How hateful and spoiled I
had acted. I saw myself through my
husband's eyes, and I didn't like what I saw.
I cried and repented. But,
that wasn't the really amazing part...
After I repented of
my actions, God reminded me of something very important in dealing with
disagreements in relationships. (Any
relationship, not only marriage). When
I first felt angry that my husband wasn't supportive enough, instead of flying
off the handle, I should have gotten in prayer. The situation wasn't terribly serious, so I should have asked
God why was I reacting this way? What
triggered this unjustifiable anger? What
was the truth in this situation? So,
better late than never, I did ask God these questions.
He reminded me that in my life, I have not been able to depend on many
people for emotional support. In
fact, more often than not, I was the one who people depended on for support
without offering any in return during my times of need.
I was angry about feeling as if I always had to be "the strong
one," so I took that anger out on my husband!
I cannot put into words how deeply this affected me!
My anger at him was suddenly put into perspective- yes, it would have
been nice if he would have been there for me, but he wasn't.
I handled the situation fine without his assistance, no harm done.
So now what to do
with this knowledge, I wondered.
First, I repented
(again). I told God how sorry I was
for unfairly taking anger out on my husband.
Then, I asked God for more truth- was it really necessary for me always
to be available to these people? He
said no- that is His job, and if I am not up to the task, then I need to set
(and enforce) boundaries. I felt a
weight lift off my shoulders immediately! I
was also able to release that anger at those who had relied on me so much.
I didn't tell them no, so I allowed them to use me!
How could I be angry at them when I was partly responsible for their
mistreatment of me? Then, I
apologized to my husband and explained what God showed me.
He forgave me immediately, I am happy to say.
As much as I detest
disagreements, I am glad this one happened.
It reminded me of important steps to take when there are disagreements in
1- Before reacting,
take a moment to get alone with God. Ask
questions like, "Why am I reacting so strongly? Is there a deeper issue?
What is the truth?"
2- Listen for an
answer. God doesn't always speak in
obvious ways, He may bring memories to the surface, or speak to you through a
song, someone on television, or even a book.
However He chooses to speak to you, you will know in your heart it is
3- Repent of any bad
behavior on your part to God, and ask Him to help you change so you don't do it
4- Ask for
forgiveness from the other person. In
the story I mentioned above, I told my husband that I was sorry for how I spoke
to him, but not for what I said. You
have a right to make your feelings known, but not in an abusive way. Yelling was not appropriate, but telling him I need his
support sometimes was.
I pray this information blesses you like it has me!
Copyright © 2010 Sarah's Daughters